Ramblings From The Chair July 2008

Well, how do you explain that? After three months of abject failure I go and win the Heart of England Individual Merit. I would like to say it was all due to my talents, which I of course have never doubted but as you can see from the report elsewhere in this newsletter I did receive more than my fair share of help from the man upstairs. Not only were my wildest bowls set back on course by other equally errant deliveries but having the sun on my back helped inordinately.

The evening itself was very enjoyable with a good many spectators turning out to cheer the competitors on. The competition again provided just a microcosm of our league with the whole panoply of age and gender represented. Also of great assistance was the superb playing surface provided at Austin British Legion it was an absolute credit to the club.

Maybe in some way we are reaping the benefits from the wet summers of recent years with smoother surfaces and lusher grass. In days gone by if you turned up at a green which had a deep green hue you knew you were going to be in for an arm stretching experience. I remember back some thirty years ago when my own father was the greenkeeper at my then club The Greet. This was a man highly qualified for the job, a man who had just a few years previously been asked to step in and produce a test match wicket at Edgbaston when the head groundsman fell ill. Imagine his surprise then when the First Team Captain sacked him as greenkeeper with the words “We want a bowling green not a picture postcard!” With the modern technology it seems those days are gone. My own clubs green at King George V looks an absolute picture as you walk through the gate and look across a swathe of deep green grass. Once on the green however the pace which it retains catches many an opponent out. It just shows that with the dedication of the greenkeeper and a baffling array of plant you can keep pace in your green whatever the weather.

Talking of postcards, I notice that the number of incorrect matchcards being submitted continues unabated and unfortunately it is the one subject that raises the greatest ire in our League from both sides of the fence. May be the answer is to grasp wholeheartedly the advance in technology and scrap the postcard completely. Surely in this day and age it can’t be impossible to develop an online matchcard linked through the web-site and which it is unable to submit without certain mandatory fields completed. If nothing else surely it must be worth exploring. Does anyone out there know how this could be achieved?

This modern technology is a wonderful thing and more and more bowling league and clubs are publicising themselves through their own web-sites. I do from time to time browse through some of these sites and have on occasions been surprised to find articles from Straight From The Heart bold and proud reproduced there. Now I don’t mind anyone reproducing what we have here as the game of bowls is always the winner but please remember this newsletter is produced to publicise our league and if you do wish to use anything from it please tell everyone where you saw it first.

See you soon

Chris Smith

Chairman

Ramblings From The Chair - June 2008 

I don’t wish to labour a point, as I’m sure I’m not alone but my continuing travails on the bowling green are beginning to cut deep. The past month has been one recurrent round of disappointment and humiliation as I not only continue to struggle with my game but I have been constantly reminded of the ineluctable passage of time. During the past week alone I have had my dreams of winning the Warwick & Worcester Merit dashed by a 15 year old, I have been defeated on a Wednesday night by a 16 year old and thoroughly thrashed by another 16 year old on Thursday night. It was after this latter ignominy that I felt the need to express myself in very much the same terms as Lee J Cobb had as juror number 3 in the film 12 Angry Men with a heart rending outburst “Rotten kids, you work your life out!!!!!!”

However, with such an array of young talent playing bowls these days it was somewhat disappointing that only 8 competitors turned up to compete for the 2008 Junior Merit on 1^st June. Why so many of our younger players spurn the chance to compete against players of their own age group I have no idea. As I said in last months Ramblings it is only a few years ago that we had over 30 players turn up to play. Where have they all gone?

The low turnout however does nothing to diminish the achievement of Ryan Prosser in retaining his title. We must wait and see if he can now equal or even go on to break the record of 3 consecutive wins currently jointly held by Barry Maskell and Paul Phipps. He certainly has age on his side.

Despite the small field the competition ran very smoothly and the behaviour of the players was sporting and good. One thing however was missing. We did not feel it necessary to employ the services of a Referee. You will see elsewhere in this newsletter the case put forward for more referees to take part in games. Now as you all know I’m not one usually to invoke controversy but I would like to put the other side of this argument. I would actually like somebody to explain to me what precise purpose a referee serves in a game of bowls. It’s not as if there is a bowling equivalent of the offside rule to be interpreted during a game or the intricacies of an LBW decision to be adjudicated on. At competitions or County Matches they just appear to be one other person strolling around the green with no apparent raison d’etre other than to look really smart in a blazer and flannels.

It seems there is a constant appeal for players to step forward, study the rules of the game, pass their exams and take charge of games. Why?

A bowls referee reminds me of a human appendics, you know they are there but you tend to ignore them until they irritate you and you all know what to do then!

Officialdom has its place but it is off the green. Bowls is a simple game, let’s please keep it that way.

See you soon

Chris Smith

Chairman

Ramblings From The Chair- May 2008

There is an age old cricketing adage that form is temporary but class is permanent. Already this season I am hoping that I have plenty of the latter because I sure don’t have any of the former.

Just how difficult can it be to roll two big balls towards a little ball over a distance which any self-respecting schoolboy could spit.

It’s not for the want of trying you understand as I’m currently spending every spare minute I have on or around the green practising, analysing my delivery ritualising every slight movement in case it might be the key to improvement.

There have been glimmers of hope that I am about to emerge from my personal Slough of Despond only for such hopes quickly to fade as my continuing ineptitude rises to the surface once again. I am beginning to feel like Sisyphus eternally pushing his boulder up the hill only to have it roll back down again just as he reaches the top.

So I am now looking for inspiration from sources other than in the deep recesses of my mind and two sources of such immediately spring to mind.

June 1^st see the Heart of England Junior Merit, this year being played for at West Midlands Police. This will be the seventh Junior Merit I have attended and the raw endeavour of the youngsters never ceases to amaze me. I can remember as if it was yesterday the first time I attended, back in 2001 when it was hosted by the Black Horse Club in Northfield. I expected to be there for no more than a couple of hours but little did I think that 38 players would arrive, boots blacked and ready to play. After approximately six hours and numerous visitations upon the refreshment area to restore my energy levels, a fantastic day’s bowling was concluded and a new champion crowned. Although the number of entries has not reached the same heights since the quality of the bowling on show never falls short of first class and I am certain that this years event will likewise prove a wonderfully enjoyable afternoon.

The second group I refer to as a source of inspiration is our female sisterhood. You may recall in last month’s Ramblings I spoke about innovation within the game and I mentioned the fact that Heart of England was in the vanguard of promoting the cause of females being allowed to compete on an even footing (or should that be footer) with their male counterparts. At the time Heart of England was derided and even threatened with all kinds of dire sanctions for attempting to promote such heresy. In fact I believe a plague still exists upon the Parkinson household! But one doesn’t have to look too hard to see the continually rising profile of female bowlers. 34 years after Heart of England admitted women bowlers, the county association followed suit and already some girls are competing at the highest level within the game. The Warwickshire County Ladies team has benefited enormously from this opening up of the game and it is no surprise to see many of our Heart of England regulars at its forefront.

With such inspiration role models I now feel better equipped to deal with my own demons on the green. So the next time I step into the fray I shall do so with the words of Mark Anthony on my lips. “Cry havoc, and unleash the dogs of war”

See you soon

Chris Smith

Chairman

Ramblings From The Chair - April 2008

Well, were off and running and the season appears to have got off to a hitch free start.

I like to think of the beginning of a bowls season is like the passing of a swan down a river. On the surface all appears calm and serene as the season gently gets underway, whilst beneath the surface lies frantic activity and occasional panic as all of the arrangements for fixtures need to be made and handbooks printed and distributed. It was only at last weeks Management Committee meeting that I passed comment on how easy the build up to the commencement of this season had been. It was only after our Vice-Chairman had managed to loosen the grip of Brian Parkinson’s hands, which had attached themselves vice-like around my throat, that I began to realise that things are not always as easy as they appear on the surface. Again Brian has done a great job getting everything ready to ensure we enjoy a full and challenging programme of bowls this summer.

Yes, you’re right, I did say summer and yes I do remember from last months Ramblings I predicted a season of unbroken sunshine. I am still confident that we will soon be feeling the soothing warmth of the sun on our backs but even I must admit I don’t think I can remember a colder start to a season. Only last Thursday, shivering in our pavilion, watching my intrepid team-mates  battle to keep out the chill, whilst pretending unconvincingly that they are enjoying their game, I was struck by the similarity of the situation that Charlie Chaplin found himself in in the film “The Gold Rush”, where he is ensconced in a wooden hut, with persons of dubious character, sheltering from the extreme cold. Although I haven’t yet been reduced to eating my own shoes to keep up my energy that is only because of the copious supplies of tea and chocolate (and the odd can of beer) hoarded by our secretary. It was only 12 months ago that we were basking in a heatwave cheering on our team-mates from the greenside. Recently the most prevalent shout has been the cry of “Shut The Door” when anybody, Captain Oates like, ventures outside and subjects us to another icy blast.

Finally for this month I was disappointed to see again one of our fellow mid-week leagues seeking to publicise itself by disparaging the work put in by other such leagues. I believe that this new kid on the block would be better served by remembering that Crown Green Bowls is a game to be enjoyed by everyone, irrespective of age, gender or ability. Everybody has to learn somewhere and one only has to look at the Heart of England honours list to find early references to some of the players performing at the highest level in this new league. Innovation is nothing new, nor should it be feared. Indeed the Heart of England has been innovating since 1973 when we became the first league to allow mixed gender bowling. This kind of elitism does the game a disservice. To dismiss us and others like us as bog-standard and accuse us of holding the game back is not only an insult to all of those hard working individuals, who as I alluded to earlier, do not seek, or receive the recognition they deserve, but is little more than arrogant rodomontade.

See you soon

Chris Smith

Chairman

It seems like only yesterday that we were packing our bowls and other associated paraphernalia away for the winter as another season drew to a close, but now we’re back and ready to rumble for 2008.

Before we look to the season ahead I would just like to say how good it was to catch up with many of you at the Presentation Evening, which again successfully passed off at West Midlands Travel. I

personally thoroughly enjoyed the evening and the catering was again of the highest standard.

The cabaret aspect of the evening was provided by Doug Parker, who did his best to divert our minds from the goings on in Paris and the Rugby World Cup semi-final. With England not qualifying for the European Football Championships this year we thought we would give Doug a free run and invited him to join us again in 2008.

The only downside of the evening was the complete inability of your Chairman to master the workings of the random number selector used in drawing the raffle. To avoid further embarrassment this year the Committee have decided on radical action. With all the fines collected last year they have decided to send me on a four day residential course in Tenerife to learn how to push a button properly. A

fitting punishment for such ineptitude.

As I write I am sure you are all busy practicing for the battles ahead and I have a feeling that we will be rewarded in 2008 with a summer of unbroken sunshine. Of course I may be being delusional but surely we deserve a good summer.

It never fails to bring a smile (or is it a grimace) to my face when the television news is full of prophets of doom telling us of global warming and that Britain is on the verge of becoming an equatorial wasteland. I can tell you of the esteem I hold these experts in as year after year I stand out playing bowls shivering in the pouring rain. In memory of the 2007 season and with my prediction of good weather for this year we have decided to list the seasons 1973 to 2006 in the handbook as the Ante-Diluvium years. Mind you, the thought of trying to keep a bowl on the green down the slope at Ye Olde Knowle in the middle of a heatwave fills me with a certain trepidation.

And so as we embark on our 2008 odyssey I can do no better than to turn to two of this country’s most revered 20^th Century philosophical icons for a suitable motto to send us on our journey. I refer of course to Messrs Morecambe and Wise and their famous phrase “Bring me sunshine”

See you soon

Chris Smith

Chairman